It stalks all of us at some point in our lives. A fairly common malady, the uncontrolled expression of anger is quite destructive. One of the easiest emotions to express, anger sometimes puts us in embarrassing situations and most often leaves us feeling that we could have avoided losing our temper if only to save us from having to say sorry.
Our embarrassment apart, anger destroys relationships, gets you into trouble and is proven to considerably harm your health. Anger is the detonator of road rage, violence at school and domestic abuse and causes health problems like high blood pressure, stress, chronic pain, headaches, depression and can even lead to suicide. All this can be avoided quite simply, by making a conscious choice to calm yourself down and forgive whoever or whatever has provoked you. Sounds simple enough doesn’t it? Far from it. Anger is such an instinctive reaction that often we blindly react to a provocation without a second thought. It’s that primitive urge in us that we have to attempt to tame.
How do we go about doing this? The first step is to identify the way you express your anger and the next step is to admit that you need help to manage your anger. To find out more about the different ways anger is expressed and about how to begin understanding the triggers that provoke your anger, click here.
Dealing with anger constructively is essential in the times we live in. From the perpetrators of the Columbine massacre and the unchecked rage of Cho Seung Hui to the tantrums of Naomi Campbell and the recent murder suicide of the LA family, anger takes many forms. The high stress lives we live in lower our tolerance for discomfort, until everything makes us feel cornered and unhappy. Anger seems to be the only recourse, the only defence when in such a situation. What we need to understand is that we always have a choice. We can decide our next step if we only understand ourselves better.
Spend time on introspection, meditate. What makes you angry, why? When the time arises, try and express your anger constructively, in a way that helps you build relationships. React to other people’s anger against you by attempting to diffuse it instead of lashing out at them. Try and see the positive side to every situation. You can turn every situation, from your boss’s irrational diatribe to you partner’s cold shoulder into a moment of clarity that deepens your relationship with them. After all, the expression of anger is a weakness as it gives people an idea about your personality.
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