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Approaching menopause is often the time women find it easy to be indulgent about some of the things younger women are going through, and irritated by others. While some experiences of womanhood appear very close, others have receded so far into their consciousness as women have acquired maturity, that they need to make a real effort to connect with such feelings.

The feelings and desires associated with sex do not have to become less important after reaching menopause. In fact, menopause may be the time when intrusions by children, fear of pregnancy, and an obsessive preoccupation with mundane tasks may have finally given way to a more spontaneous enjoyment of sex. How menopause affects our sex lives is something many woman want to know about even before they arrive at this particular milestone.

While hormone replacement therapy has really made a difference to post-menopausal sex, positive images of older woman in films and mainstream media provide a great deal of reassurance. 2003 saw the release of two very good films about post-menopausal sexuality. Something's Gotta Give starring Diane Keaton, and Calendar Girls starring Helen Mirren and others, gave an audience of older women lots to cheer about.

How women experience sex after menopause is really only one element in the larger questions of physical and emotional fitness. Exercise and a sufficient intake of calcium are often emphasized to prevent arthritis and osteoporosis in older women. Exercise and shared laughter, satisfaction from relationships, and a feeling of being recognized for their best qualities by the people they love are definitely some of the things that can enhance the enjoyment of lovemaking for older women.

The see-saw of emotions that women may be going through during menopause complicates many areas of their lives, and additional information about others' experiences is helpful at such a time. While much attention is paid to how men experience a decline in libido by a Viagra obsessed media and culture, not enough attention is paid to women - and such topics as  the effects of Viagra on women!

Loving partners are definitely one of the ingredients for a more satisfying sex life after menopause. The other, equally important factor is confidence in our femininity and the sheer love of living.

It is interesting to note that for many, the closest they come to bliss is during sexual experiences. In fact, many believe that romantic and thence sexual exchanges are the way to experience bliss.

Is this true? Is sexual release a manifestation of true bliss?

Not really. A sexual experience is typically an experience involving two persons seeking fulfillment from each other. This implies that you get into the act, so to speak, looking for an experience of union. Hence, you associate whatever high you feel during the union with bliss.

However, imagine a bliss born in your own mind, of its own inherent power.

You could bring it on (shall we say) whenever you desire and hold onto it for as long as you want. Sounds better than sex?

That, in truth, is true bliss.

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Since as far as we can recollect, man and woman have been considered two sides of one coin. It is believed that each has its own characteristics and when the two are put together, a union perfect in nature is created.

In the The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm said that the basis of our need to love lies in the experience of separateness and the resulting need to overcome the anxiety of separateness by the experience of union.

Does this mean that we can never feel complete in ourselves? What about those who choose to remain celibate and abstain from sex?

It may be said that such persons seek wholeness or the absence of fragmentation within.

Is this achievable?

In the words of David Bohm, “Men have been aware from time immemorial of this state of apparently autonomously existent fragmentation and have often projected myths of a yet earlier ‘golden age’ before the split between man and nature and between man and man had yet taken place. Indeed, man has always been seeking wholeness – mental, physical, social, individual.”

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